All posts filed under: Column

Can You Have True Love in a Tinder Era?

Carrie Bradshaw wanted what I want: “(…) Love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.” In a time where you can find love by swiping your finger, people tend to think that ridiculous love does not exist. Can you love so ridiculously that it is stupid yet fulfilling? Despite the fact that giving makes me happy (see this post), I have been taking care of myself for so many years now that I won’t give up independence or freedom for anything. So I could not help but wonder how could I love consumingly without sounding so ridiculous? My grandpa rode a boat in the middle of a storm in Indonesia just to provide for my grandma and be with her. He then decided to move to her, earned a quarter what he had earned and lived a fulfilled life until the day he died. My grandma told me that it was the best feeling one could ever give her. The one you can only experience once in a lifetime. I-cannot-live-without-you love. My mum moved to …

Giving: Loving

Everyone was born to be selfish. You get one mother who gave birth and fed you. Afterwards you might have learned to share your food or toys with your siblings and friends. Before money existed, everyone had to exchange goods. I doubt that everyone has learned naturally to give. Giving means not expecting anything back, thus love is kind and giving. The difference is that when your love is not reciprocated, it hurts. The first step though is to learn how to love. Even after all this time, I don’t think I can love (perfectly), I neither know how nor sure that I have loved. I merely know that I was taught by my mom that the key to happiness is to give: to know that you are able to make someone happy, to put their needs with or even before yours. It doesn’t matter if you try to give with your time, money presence or effort. With this lesson I try to develop my giving to love. The one thing on earth I have …

Al Pacino Guys

I believe there is no one that is not familiar with the name Al Pacino. So many movies, wealthy and not to forget the ladies. I am always amazed how men are getting better looking as they get older. These men, especially the successful one like Al Pacino, have the luxury of having the choice to structure their life independently from their ladies, girlfriend or of the sort. These men usually don’t get married because they don’t have to or just don’t feel the need to marry someone since, as we know, marriage needs compromises, requires work and someone who will at least meet you halfway. I don’t know Al Pacino personally but maybe he did not feel the need to have a girlfriend as he was young and successful either. Due to the fact, I believe, that it is a force of nature that men with power or fear of commitment will automatically state that happiness could be reached without a partner to hold on to. This then leads to me asking myself if …

7 Things I Have Learned

One year older and none wiser just hipper . There are 7 things I have learned this year 1. There is no “it is stressing me out” You have the choice if something or someone can bother you. The way not having someone stressing you out is not letting him. The result is, you see the positive side of the things, and good things come to those who wait (and eat cake while waiting). 2. Date both younger and older guy Not at the same time of course. As I get “mature” I explore the new territory and it is actually kinda nice. It’s like helping someone to grow or being helped zo grow. Yuck, that sounds weird. 3. It is better to be crazy than boring I get crazier and crazier every year. And laugh a lot because of it. 4. The best relationships do not start easily After a decade of dating, I realised that the best relationships with the best outcomes are not those which have started easily. The butterfly in your stomach comes …

Love and Leap of Faith

When I looked at my grandparents laughing and makes fun of each other after 55 years of being together, I floated in kinda disbelief. Those sparks which you have when you actually like someone, those which pushes you to love him. Those which makes you want to share your home with him. Those which makes your heart skip a beat. Those sparks.. It will fade, won’t it? When your parents are divorced or you have been disappointed so deeply, it is hard to trust that someone or something will make you complete. You expect more. Something bigger. Something sweeter. The grand gesture, so to say. A relationship does not last long because love always conquers all. I refused to believe the non-existence of love is the one that ends the relationship. I believe that the wrong attitudes toward each others’ important values are the one which stops the love to be nourished. The one which makes even the greatest love fade. So if you for example value trust the most. Then you expect no one …