I have always been good at school. I guess it is because I am a curious girl. I never study by heart, I’d like to know what I study about. It’s just me.
I met Timo four months ago at his workplace. He is a flirty, funny, handsome and talented, twenty-nine-year-old sous chef. So as he asked me out for the first time, I said no. Men who are “exclusive” attract me the most. He talked to much to too many people. He appeared to be a tat bit slutty for my taste. No, not that kind of slutty but that kind who talks to every girls available. Or maybe because I have just broken up for the 100 times with my boyfriend that time. Who knows, I can’t really remember it now. We haven`t spoken since.
Five days ago we met again by coincidence as we waited for the subway. We talked about food and so on for a bit while we were waiting and more in the train. Because he seems to be more interesting this time (or maybe because there were not so many girls around). I said yes to a cake date on a Sunday. Well, a girl need her cake at least once a week, right?
This Sunday (actually today) was bright and joyful; I felt like I can smell the fresh air and the those mint leaves I added to my tea in the morning. I was excited for the date, it motivated me to learn for the exam. As if “if you can answers the next 5 questions correctly you gotta get your eye candy and your cake after…”
We met in a cafe near both our places (he lives to subway stops away) and luckily got the best seats near the window. We talked about food and more food. Ingredients, how to cook a perfect steak, why a fish spatula is mandatory for every kitchen, how he adores girls who eat their steak medium-rare…. I never felt that being a foodie has so many advantages like this time. Jackpot!
After we talked about his stuffs (well, as a sous chef in a prestigious kitchen he sure has the talents and the experience to teach me some skills), he started to ask about what I really do, my college, which career paths I am aiming for, why I live in Germany and so on and so on. He told me that my major is fascinating. He found my job in fashion and business to be exciting and fun. He explained why he prefers dark-haired girls. So it went well for a while.
Then he asked me why I go to college.
“I want to have a good job later,” I told him.
“What do you mean by a good job?”
“You know, hopefully a higher job position, when I am forty or so. For a business major it is important to have a degree.”
“You can get a job without a degree… or go to a higher job position without going to college.”
“I guess when I can cook as good a s you. I envy those talented people like you. For some stuffs sadly one have to go to college.”
“Ah, I see. You also have learned to speak German in such a short time. You are like really, I mean really smart. Gosh, I get scared just now.”
“Haha. Don’t be. I am just a normal person who has lived in many different places. I think that`s why I can adapt and learn fast.”
“I mean you are twenty-four-year-old. How come that you have travelled to so many places and read many books?”
“Uhm. I like to travel I guess, it is my hobby. Yolo and stuff you know. And I read when I travel. So it kinda combines in some sort.”
“Uh sure. And….”
Afterwards he asked me a lot about background stuffs. My parents, my home situation. It felt like a job interview with casual clothes and cakes. I felt like I needed to sell myself short. I have got the feeling like he is afraid of me… or something. All in all, I seriously was not enjoying myself. It is sad how your mind could be attractive to some men and a turn-off to others.
I pray to God not that there will not be some kind of cosmic power which can make me fall for him in the next hour. I am not in the mood for crying later. You know that feeling when you kinda like someone or maybe not; and there is this one point (for me this one point which he being scared) which surely will destroy it all later in another stage of dating. The smartest thing to do right now is not to even continue the dating or whatever it is going on now.
Now I play with my head and write this column.
He texted me just now: “Sorry If I was weird earlier. I just has never dated a girl like you. I feel like you are a superior or something…”
I haven’t text him back until now. Maybe I am not supposed to; he did not ask any question in his text. Ah darn it, I don’t know what to say anyway..